
The problem is not with people, but with the fact that we unconsciously choose them with a certain set of characteristics that will ultimately lead to an already familiar result, even if at a conscious level it is not desirable.
If, in childhood, you were ingrained in the pattern “without suffering, there is no happiness,” then each new partner will fall under criteria that will lead to toxic relationships. It will always seem that you are making the choice that you are striving for. In fact, you still don’t know who you are, and you are still learning the mechanisms of life through trial and error.
You see the source of desire or irritation, its merits and flaws, which are actually yours; you just cannot see yourself, so you see your own vices in others. The people around you reflect you in one form or another. This mechanism is the reason why we are able to understand each other.
The fact that there are conflicts and their frequent occurrence causes an uneven growth in awareness.
Awareness depends on some factors, but everything is not completely clear to me since there is no limit to awareness itself and factors change their functions as you move along the life path of growing awareness.
If you manage to turn your attention inward and keep it to yourself, then big changes will soon begin.
You will learn to feel your own body and mind.
After all, few, or perhaps many, people wondered why we were not given exact instructions for the body.
You will have to look for it yourself, listening to yourself. But how exactly do you do this? You ask.
The body wants pleasure, and the mind wants to know. So hear them by directing your attention inward.
You will think it’s crazy and a waste of time. You don’t yet realize that only silence means something in the world; everything is stored in it, and its meanings are broader.
May love be with you!
Visit my website alshapovalov.com to find out more about mindfulness and my own observation of this beautiful life.